SB3

OK, here are a bunch of good-looking people shot really dramatically against a black background. Oh look,  there’s that autistic kid who played the most amazing basketball game ever. That’s for Gatorade new G product. Nice. I’ll remember that one.

This one is sort of like Benjamin Button except instead of getting older, this person is just preternatually smart. I actually stopped typing to watch that one.  It’s for cars.com. That was great, actually.  Engaging story, quirky character, grabs your attention, then gets to the point of the ad. Most insight-driven ad I’ve seen so far. Works great in this medium (always a test; could it work elsewhere?); woudln’t work online, I don’t think, it’s too dependent on the narrative and people wouldn’t give it time. A+ from the Branding Broad!

That was weird. Two good ads in a row. Wow. Probably won’t happen again.

Enough with the hitting people. Previews for NBC. Geez, they really had a shot with the Joe Cocker commerical, but now I don’t give a shit. Medium, schmedium. N BC, you’re dead to me!

People the world over are freaking out about Hyundai. Wow, they actually could show the BMW logo in their ad. Actually, I think this Hyundai strategy of showing a bunch of different ads is pretty sweet, but I think I would have shown this one, with global captains of industry ranting in other languages and punctuating with a very intense “Hyundai!” first, then gone on about the awesomeness of Hyundai in later ads. But, hell, I’m just a digital agency ACD, what the hell do I know.

Babies talking. It’s funny because they have these blank babyish looks on their face. That was cute. Good copy. I liked the line, “Not in this venue.” Go, Etrade!

Oh brother, I was supposed to have 3D glasses for some ad. Well, boo to me.

Oh here’s the preview for Up. I dunno. I didn’t see the last two Pixar  movies. This one looks….like the reason I didn’t see the last two. Where’s the heart, Pixar? Jokes about GPS? Oh, blargh. I think I’d rather watch Medium.

Here’s the latest crapfest from Bud Light, some jerk at a ski resort who draws things and it messes with people’s skiing. Geez, these are bad. Is this like a beer commercial Super Bowl thing, where lots of guys get hurt? I am truly desensitized, for I feel neither shock nor hilarity… 

Death has come to get its taxes done. That was weird. A little edgy for H&R Block. Except… well, just kind of bad. They spent a lot of money on that Death figure. Maybe if you’re H&R Block accountant of the month, you get to have that thing in your office. I mean, what happens to those things?

Oh I heard about these weird ads where the flowers start talking. “You never know what [boxed flowers] will say.” This is one where I’m flabberghasted that they got this past the client; I’m really having to make a lot of leaps to connect the dots between talking flowers that say mean things because they…come in a box? I mean…the hell? If only my clients could be that easily sold. “See, the flowers talk smack to this woman, and then you want to make sure that the real flowers come in a vase!” “Branding Broad, you may just be crazy…..but you’re a genius!!” Oy.

A local commercial for United Way. That was refreshing. 10 seconds, got right to the point. Yeah, it was just a printed card, but I’m sort of overwhelmed by high production values at the moment. Fine work, local United Way!

Ew, Jay Leno. He’s driving a cool car, but he has a weird face. I think those cool cars are old men magnets, not chick magenets, by the way. Just notice if you’re ever in one. The main people who will compliment you on your car are guys either in the throes of or just past midlife crisis.

OK, some annoying women, the Cheetos tiger. That was weird and stupid. Some woman’s talking like Moon Unit Zappa and then some other woman throws Cheetos at her so that birds….take over and peck her or poop on her or something. Then the Cheetos tiger talks like a British villain or Barry White or….what the hell was that?

It has been a WILD first half, I have just been told. The spouse even confirmed this fact. Meanwhile, I don’t have my 3D glasses. Loser! Oh, I saw this preview, I think this is the Monsters vs. Aliens preview. This looks pretty funny. Yeah, I think Dreamworks has eclipsed Pixar. I hate to say it, but there it is.

K, it’s the dance of the Little Swans and football guys are doing it. Now I love me some bad ballet. Oh, here are monsters and aliens. They’re having a party! Ballet is not involved! It looks kind of like Jazzercise choreography. Yay, Jazzercise. Sobe. That was entertaining.

Oh hell, Chuck is doing a whole 3D episode? I mean, wouldn’t you feel like the biggest dork in the world watching TV in those dumb cardboard glasses for a half hour? It’s one thing if you watch a 3D movie, and then the glasses are a little cooler, at least they were when I saw Superman Returns with the Youngest at an Imax theater. But you know, you’re in a big theater and it’s dark and no one’s looking at you. This is asking you to wear those at home for 30 minutes. I dunno. Maybe you could figure out a way to make it sexy. Oh, who gives a rat’s ass.

Missed part of this Sprint commercial. I have Sprint. I wish I’d stayed with TMobile.

Some guy is running and running. Now he’s a football guy. That was for the NFL. LIke they need to advertise themselves. Maybe the ad was free?

Heroes football. Looks like it made the spouse and Youngest want to watch. OK, whatever.

Bruce Springsteen wants me to get away from the guacamole dip! I read it on closed captions. It looked as weird there as it does here. I’ve always thought he had such a weird face, and he looks like he’s in perpetual pain, especially when he’s smiling. But he’s sorta cute. He seems very scrappy. Oh, it’s Born to Run. This song is ok. The song after it on the record, Meeting Across the River, is really great. It’s the only Springsteen I really love. I did like the Born to Run cover. Hey, it’s Clarence Clemons. Blow, Big Man! Yay. Clarence Clemons rocks. I can’t tell if Little Steven is there. He dated this woman in my aerobics class in New York and she got me this record he made about not playing in sun City. I was really thrilled but honestly, it was a kind of dumb song. Well, Bruce is better than the Rolling Stones, who are just plain bizarre at this point, but NOTHING will ever be great as Prince singing Purple Rain IN THE RAIN. Prince is the absolute best. Oh MY GOD, Little Stephen ain’t little. Wow. He probably doesn’t have that cute girlfriend any more. Unless, of course, she was just in it for the money.

Goodbye, halftime show! Thanks for thanking me, Bridgestone!